Obama Inaugural Tickets – Should I try as a Lolcat?

So I’m lucky enough to have two of the worst possible tickets to the inauguration swearing in ceremony. Naturally, I’m trying to sell them (thankfully it’s still legal, damn unamerican congress is tried a few times to change that though.) Craigslist is the only real place to do it. So far I’ve been offered $400, $600, and $1000 for the two. Of course, most these people don’t actually come through — it is Craigslist after all. We’ll see if i actually sell them, but frankly I think i would have had a more successful run with craigslist if i was a lolcat looking for an anonymous gay hookup.

one of the best things about trying to sell these tickets is the crazy craigslist trolls who keep harassing me — it’s pretty much what you’d expect — except it has stuff like this in it:

“oh I’m SURE this is what Obama would like to see… neighbor ripping off his neighbor…”

That’s a quote.  Seems pretty clear that this guy is confusing Obama with someone else. Jesus, perhaps.
What’s particularly great about these wacko Obamaphiles is that they totally ignore that Obama was actually selling tickets for $50,000 through his inaugural committee.

Well, it’s the Audacity of Hype, I suppose. I’m plenty sick of it though.  Especially all this ridiculousness about how 1) he’s going to fix everything, 2) he’s like Lincoln and Reagan, 3) the US overcame racism, and proved it by electing him (since the only reason people voted for McCain was racism, of course).

The whole idea of “America’s not racist!  We have a black president, really! And we love Oprah and Kanye and Wayne Brady!”  Worse is the idea that Obama’s election really fulfills the American promise that anyone can become President.  Ugh.

So, I’m not going to go force my way through the Obamoron Hordes to stand in the cold for hours so I can kind of maybe see the next President.  Especially since Rick Warren‘s going to be there, using magic.  (Click Warren’s name for a fun article about how his pals are distributing nazi type comics to children – he’s a great pick.)

Gay: the New Black, and Pig sex orgies

Well as it turns out, it’s pretty good news that a Obama is now president.  Some recent research suggests that in fact, Gay is the new black in terms of discrimination, according to the article,

Dr Jones said: “Without detracting from the seriousness of the prejudice that still exists against people because of their ethnic origin, the results of our study suggest that being gay or lesbian could be ‘the new black’ when it comes to being a victim of prejudice.”

So by that logic, we can expect that soon a gay man can be president too!  Or… at least a half gay one.

Here’s a surprise, the KKK doesn’t like gay people, and by extension, decided to boycott Hallmark

A press release yesterday from the Belleville, Illinois, chapter of the KKK, states that Hallmark is “trying to corrupt the morality of Americans by offering gay/lesbian wedding and greeting cards.” “This is sickening beyond belief…We white Americans are to BOYCOTT Hallmark cards until they take the cards off the shelf.”

This one is my favorite for the day: a bat shit crazy religious group that knows more about gay fetish sex than any gay I know, and apparently has more connections to the seedy gay underworld than Tom Cruise has uncovered something pretty scandalous … Pig Sex Orgies in DC!

A source has provided Americans For Truth with a copy of a private e-mail intended only for “sex pigs” — sent out by a group called “Fort Troff” (as in pig troff). The e-mail touts the ultra-promiscuous “pig sex” event at Doubletree called “MAL Maneuvers” — for the purpose of pulling together “hard-core pig players” who want to “[F–K] [sodomize] our brains out.”

Seriously, please read that article in full.  It’s way too good.  Totally not safe for work, by the way, but pretty damn funny.  My brother Righty was saying that he can’t believe there are people who get together to do things like this.  I cautioned him to question the source.  Though I don’t actually doubt that things like this occur — I mean, I’ve seen it on TV before!

Well kids — I’m sure you wanted to hear more about the Barackopacolypse, but I guess you’ll just have to wait.

The Devil’s In the Details

Just got the latest copy of Details magazine in the mail today. Pretty much everything on the cover seems to be geared straight towards me — except for one thing in particular: Can You Still Afford Your Girlfriend. Now, seriously, girlfriend?
I never fully understood what the point was for Details to bother pretending to be a straight man’s magazine. I mean, I love my Details, in terms of Gay-Lite it’s right up there with High School wrestling, Cirque Du Soleil, and Clay Aiken, but come on — nobody who really reads Details has a girlfriend. Nobody except that overly macho quarterback from your high school days who always had exceptionally nice eyebrows and a really really close best friend.  You know, his bro.

Am I right?  Do any of you read Details? Do you have a girlfriend?

For your viewing pleasure, the cover of Details:

Cregslist iz so durdy

Over the weekend i got bored and posted a fake craigslist ad in M4m in lolcat speak.

stuff like “lukkin 4 sum1 to come ovah fer cuddelz timez maybee more. iz best if u haz a flavah, a reel gud won. kthxbai!”

the weird thing was i got 7 responses in 20 minutes — only one of them noted it was a lolcat and thought it was funny. the rest sent pics of their bodies and things like “your butt is ground-zero of your pleasure,” which is probably the best use of the phrase “ground-zero” ever. Typically when i think about that term i think 9/11, but it’s nice that it can be reclaimed for referencing dirty anal sex with strangers– possibly cats.
i posted it with a picture of a cat on a bed.

i guess i didn’t notice that the cat had such seductive come-hither eyes.